Hypocrite as defined by the Merriam-Webster is…
1) a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2) a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.
Tonight instead of sitting in on a sermon, I took my children to their classes and then I excused myself so that I could write. I was so angry from my day that I couldn’t listen to anything else. All I could think of is that I am surrounded by (and probably am one) hypocrites.
To clarify, I work for a friend from school. He and his wife invited me and my children to church last October. We went and my kids love it. Now please don’t get me wrong, I like it too. I like the people. I love the sermons. I do not like the fact that I work with and go to church with these people. They just hired two other people that go to church with us. I am all for helping others and the people seem to be doing a good job. What I am not for is the fact that the owners come in and act vengeful, childish, and ignorant. They, well the man, are quick to tell people what a “Christian” he is. I am not writing this to offend anyone. Please do not take this wrong. I have always believed in God. Please do not judge me but I was raised with 1/2 of my family as Catholics and the other 1/2 Methodist. I also believe in saints, some Native American customs, the healing power of stones and colors, some astrology, some numerology, reflexology, cultures, and the great county that I live in and my ability to believe in all these things and more. I also believe that we are all free to believe what we want. Thank you to my father and other family members as well as any and all members of our military who fight for these rights that we enjoy here in the wonderful United States of America.
What I do not believe is that anyone should push their beliefs on to other people nor do I believe that anyone should walk around telling others how “Christian” that they are especially when their actions to not match that. If you lie, cause chaos, are bitter, act in a vengeful way, are prejudice, and make an uncomfortable work environment for your employees, you might not be a Christian. As owners, regardless of religious affiliation, you should be setting an example for everyone that works for you. If you are a “Christian”, than you should be setting that example also. Some people that I work with will not go to any church because working like this has turned them off.
I have questioned myself about all of these things and if this is what going to church and being Christian is, then I would rather go back to not attending. How can people who preach to others about going to church and the bible be so mean? Do they not hear themselves? What I have heard while attending this church is uplifting messages. We should be lifting each other up and loving one another. Not cutting people down. We should not be angry or vengeful and faultfinding towards those who are flourishing. If someone is helping the company and general morale of the company, shouldn’t we be building them up?
This is where I question if I am also a hypocrite. I love these people. Genuinely love and care about these people but because I work for them I won’t say anything to them about all the above issues. In the past I have gotten caught up in the bitterness. I have continually pointed out others faults under the direction of my bosses who used the fact that I am an assistant to them as an excuse for my behavior. Am I wrong? Should I say to them that I do not feel comfortable doing that anymore? If I do say something, will my job be in jeopardy? If I don’t, will my soul? Am I a hypocrite because I am judging them for their behavior?
I am angry, not with them but with myself because I have allowed myself to be put in this position. Maybe this is all part of the journey of figuring out who I am. Maybe this is God’s way for showing me what I don’t want to be. Maybe this is part of God’s plan to help me move forward and get out from under all this. I’m not sure. I do not believe that I am a hypocrite. I do believe that I am right in loving these people. I am a firm believer in 1 Cor 13; 13.
This post is not meant to offend anyone nor is it meant to judge anyone. It is merely to help me and others out there in the world move forward. In order for me to move forward I must get all of these things out in the open. I hope that this post will also help others to see that they are not alone.
Please bear with me as these random things are posted. Thank you for going forward with me.